The last week

Yes, yes, the title sounds bad.

It's not, really. Every finish line is just a new start and all that, and, let's bet honest - I'm kinda nowhere near my finish line in Tartu :D 

Ok, that's a hyperbole (and I've always hated those). Technically, my semester hasn't even ended (still need to pass those exams, and I will, of course I will ), but still.

I'm living my last times, lectures, events this week- thankfully no more early and long, long Wednesdays, no more running to buss to center and back to Chemikum. But this also means more or less saying good-byes to Erasmus friends.

And yes, I've to admit, that I've always thought disapprovingly about Erasmus (who hasn't every once in a while?), because, while it says cultural experience and all those pretty phrases, sadly that's not the first thing that comes to mind when you say "Erasmus". And, I've to agree with my Finnish flatmate, that is just... so sad.
Of course, nothing is ever just black and of course it depends on persons and country and what exactly you are studying and so on. Stereotypes are bad (even if they usually have grain of truth in them). And I've to admit that living with 4 Erasmus students for all semester, thinking about saying goodbye to those girls is really hard. Oh, how I will miss my roommate ;______;

And that's another really sad part about exchange program - most likely (like 95%) you won't ever see those people again. Ever. 

Of course - and yes, Laura, we made a deal and shaked on it, so no take-backs - there shall be some visits in this summer. Yes!

Then what's left is postcard or a letter, if you're lucky. I'm quite good at them. But, again - (ooh, I love those buts) the thing about living in two different parts of the continent, or even world is that... live goes on. For everyone and, after a while, you simply aren't the same person, you don't lead the same live (and thank gods for that!), you don't share events and you have nothing much to talk about. Even if "how's it going?" is meant well, let's face it - it's something you ask, when you don't know what to ask anymore.
Since I've already put Doctor Who gif, and I'm kinda on it's wave (even though my doctor are and always will be David Tennant's Nine) - and I really have to start watch classical seasons, there is this one quote from S6 E4 "Doctor's wife":

Idris: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad. I've found it now.
The Doctor: What word?
Idris: "Alive." I'm alive.
The Doctor: Alive isn't sad.
Idris: It's sad when it's over.

I'm sad that my friends are leaving. I'm sad that almost 1/4 of my time in masters program, in Tartu is over. I'm sad that there is no winter outside. Actually this whole blog entry is just... so sad.
No, I don't have autumn depression. I don't get those, since late, dark and rainy autumn and freezing and snowy winter are my favorite times of year. (I get only summertime sadness).

I guess I can be forgiven. because, let's face it - this is time for leaving. And exams (oh god). And next semester and YEAR will be good, of course, and new friends and experiences - you get a lot of those, while living in dorms, duh. (no, it's not that bad, but you certainly get to see a thing or two :D )
All in all life's good (I've a got stipend, life is beautiful) and I will be fine.
We all will. Cheers!
(After all Christmas are only a week away! C: )

Procrastination

Tere õhtust!

So, what should I do in a day when my concentration&inspiration has shut down so thoroughly, but my conscience kinda doesn't allow me to do nothing, BUT even learning Estonian (still my favorite course!) doesn't seem appealing?

So, writing. Ah, sweet procrastination.

Surprisingly it has been very rare guest this semester. Or maybe it's not that surprising, considering where I am studying. And I can't disagree with my Finnish flatmate - everyone here seems very "studying-oriented"  -unlike from our home universities. Of course, there are always courses which are boring and which you don't really like, and you still (I know I'm doing it) occasionally moan and complain about the study workload, but it still is... very, very good.

Even my dear mother says that I never seemed that happy about studying (on a side note - I have, more or less, always liked studying) at my university in Latvia :D I am a bit afraid that it is pink glasses period, but, hey - yesterday we had MIDTERM (I still can't get over this) presentations about group work. Hey, wow, wait, what? Too soon!

And, believe it or not, but I already got "Estonian-language-disappointment". 

For those who don't know - in Estonian language not only some verbs (f.e. like in English "go-went-gone" etc), but also nouns are irregular for different cases. So, there is this small "Poe street" in Tartu, which, of course, I associate with Edgar. A. Poe, one of my favorite writers, and his portrait is even stencil painted on one of the houses. So really cool, right? Wrong. 

Because Estonian name for shop is "pood", but it's genitive form, which is used in basically all street names, is "poe". So, it is simply "Shop's street" :(

Then again the "art" on walls here is quite different from Riga. Of course, there are a lot of beautiful graffitis in Riga, but here they have even "Clockwork orange". And really? Clockwork orange! Makes me want to re-read the book again.... 

Another side note to myself - I should return to reading literature (not just articles about tandem masspectrometry :D ) I swear, I haven't turned on my Kindle for three weeks now, and it is such a blasphemy. Still have to finish "Picture of Dorian Gray" and to start Murakami's "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World" (as suggested by my dad) or try to find e-book version of Andrus Kivirähk "The Man Who Spoke Snakish".

Ah, the important problems in life :D

But, overall, more and more I catch myself feeling very happily content. Of course, I always want more, I want to dance and learn and love and and and... but somehow it feels like the biggest things have slipped into their places, smoothing the edges and leaving everything inside me as mirror-like sea. 

Maybe it is just due to the fact that this (a bit annoyingly pretty) autumn is smoothly becoming grey and dark, full of promise of more darkness and then snow - absolute and blinding and freezing-to-your-bones winter. My favorite time of the year ♥

In the end - band of the last few weeks: Ewert And The Two Dragons. Listen to some Jolene

P.s. Apparently writing (mixed with coffee and chocolate) was the right step, because as "appetite grows with eating" I'm now inspired to study some Estonian. 

We have started to learn about third case form, partitive, and when I informed Laiksne about this (she has learnt Estonian grammar for a year), she simply replied "Welcome to hell". Ah, well. If it is too easy, you are doing it wrong, eh?

Autumn reflections.

This year, autumn is spoiling me. My favourite season has always been that part of autumn, where the mornings are refreshingly cool, but not cold, the days are full of sunshine but not hot, and somewhere in the branches of trees, next to the singing birds, the wind is composing its own song, just perfect background music for anything.

Toomemägi will definitely be more colorful this year, when the autumn will have come with its full palette. Last year it had chosen pure gold for the whole hill and nothing else. This time, even most of the leaves are still green and trying to keep the last bits of summer, here and there one can already notice red, orange, yellow, warmly honeybrown. The maple-tree right opposite my favourite reading bench has had two branches colored for two weeks already. Nothing more, just those two branches as a small reminder that the summer is indeed over.

And there I sit on my favourite reading bench, although this time reading has been replaced with solving of differentials and integrals. Due to "unexpected dental disaster" the Semiotics lecture got cancelled and I had unexpected free time. The weather had gone from grey and rainy to autumn fairy tale in one morning. Each page of this fairy tale takes one step closer to the winter or at least colder days, and I just cannot say "no" to perhaps the last opportunity to enjoy the silent happiness of reading up on the hill. Or preparing for the upcoming test in my so beloved (absolutely no sarcasm here!) mathematics.

That it is noon already, I know not only by the Raekoja bells - a group of tourists come up the hill, along the same path I have seen so many tourist groups coming. They always come around twelve, one o´clock latest. At the same time, my lunch-buddy arrives and we decide to go down the very same path, passing the tourists. Germans this time, a group that my secondary school headmaster used to call "empty-nest-tourists" or people who have raised their kids to have their own lives and their own kids and now enjoy a little bit more careless lifestyle.

Number of them stop to look back at us, when we have passed, some gaze at us when we are still passing them as they would have seen a ghost. So they noticed I am wearing colors. Well, it is not that hard to notice the cherrybrown-white-green tekkel on my head - whole Spanish group took pictures of me, when I was sitting on my bench and reading in colors the other day, Japanese not only took pictures, but also asked, "what does the hat mean". Germans, in turn, actually have a clue of what they see, as they also have corporations, but they might have different connotations as in Germany corporations sometimes get unfairly associated with movements even as bad as neo-nazi. Oh well. The tekkel on this side of the Europe carries whole different story.

For me as a Latvian the opportunity to wear the colors when going for a lecture in Oeconomicum or walking down the Lossi street, meeting someone in Raekoja plats or sitting up on the hill and reading - it is an opportunity to state the not-so-obvious. That, although my love towards my sweet, little and absolutely wonderful Latvia has not changed a bit, perhaps only become stronger, Estonia and everything Estonian has grown to be quite a part of my identity. So strong, that my weekly travelling between Riga and Tartu is not "going to school and then coming back" anymore. It is "going from home to home" with the only difference being ability to understand the language used around me.

But hey - I will be able to speak Estonian one very soon day!

Small tidbits

Tere-tere!

Estonian course is still my favorite so it's nothing new about that. Still haven't learned about partitive, so it still seems relatively easy :D

• Tartu is truly magical city. Why?

Sitting in (luckily the one and only) boring lecture in Physicum a random guy walks past the windows while smoking pipe 0_o And today it happened again - only looking from Chemicum. I don't think it was the same guy.... And I still can't decide if it's simply fancy or some sort of new hipster thing. But, hey - looks cool!

A question - what Latvians do when they have "apple year" in their garden? Usually it's - trying to give them away to friends, relatives, anyone who has gotten slightly less amount apples from their garden, making juices etc.
What do "Tartu-ians" in apple year? They just put a box of apples in bus stop. Okey, this bus stop is quite far from city center and connects institutes of chemistry, physics and medicine. Still - so tasty apples! I should have taken more than just two...
And they put apple boxes near house gates too. Seems like very effective system. At least I like it! :D

• Kitchen-y things

Last weekend I decided to try and make banana pancakes.

Challenge No.1. - I have never made even normal pancakes (from start till end).
Challenge No.2. - no scales or cup with mL on it.
Challenge No.3. - small pan (ok, later I borrowed a bigger one from flatmate :D )

The outcome? Mountain (but in Latvian and Estonian sense of mountains) of terribly delicious pancakes - with approval stamp from my flatmates in form of "I have to admit, you are a good cook".
Which is something I never would have thought to hear maybe year or two before...

• Sort of serious stuff

Talked with my MSc thesis supervisor, finally know (or more like - have slight inkling) what my topic will be. And I'm excited. And very, very scared.

But that's not the important thing I wanted to write. The best thing is just two sentences from my supervisor "There are types of master's work when you go to lab, have like, thousands of samples, one method you use to analyse them and afterwards compare results. This (referring to my topic) will not be the case."

And I can't wait next weekend, when I'm going home :3
But I really don't wait for 2am in Monday when I will have to drag my awfully heavy and full bag of home made stuff from bus stop to dorms... -_-
But enough of whining - I'm going to enjoy Teadlaste Öö (researchers night) tonight (:

Oh, and I probably have mentioned to at least some of you, that one of things I want want are spices (f.e. basil, oh my, basil) in pots, so you can use them fresh. So my joy of today is rosemary! First step to collect them all :D

P.s. Still waiting for Laiksne to write something here too...

Super duper

Tere~

You may never know what a new day will bring you, right? Like waking up today (thankfully and happily my lectures started only at 10:15) research groups (for my masters thesis) was one of the last things in my mind and - come evening and suddenly I have two super awesome supervisors (more or less :D ).

If scientists can say that "Everyhting in life happens for a reason and that reason usually is physics" I can honestly say that my motto is "Everyhting in life happens for a reason and that reason usually is Karin".

I´m afraid of not being good enough for them and so on, but at the same time I´m super excitded and will do my best. But not this evening. Thank gods there is only one lecture tomorrow, because I´m completly useless!

Laiksne has even started to sing to me: "Let it go, let it go~"  (if you don´t know what kind of song this is, I don´t want to be your friend).

From "normal life": first attempt at eating healthier (aka more vegetables&fruits): Mish-mash omelette with paprik in ratio 25:75.
Conclusion - next time don't put so much paprika in it -_-

Aaand Laiksne's husbands lazanja, because I can't say no to lazanja! And because she has the best timing :D


Head aega, friends!

22

Tervist!

It has already been 22 days (from all my 22 years of life) since I can call tell: "Yes, I'm living in Tartu and I'm here not for a vacation, for a month, or even a semester, but much longer.". Me, who sometimes is so patriotic (deep, deep down into my small black heart) it even hurts, I have willingly moved to another country.

Life is weird like that sometimes, isn't it?

But that's for small intro. And, let's be honest - to study in Tartu has been my (seemingly unattainable) dream for a very long time. Not for 2 years when Karin (smart, beautiful, wonderful Karin) showed me new Chemicum building and told me about one of masters programs there. Since moving here I've been catching myself remembering - when I was visiting Tartu - how beautiful and captivating the city had seemed to me and how I liked the taught of studying here. Years went, and well, people forget. I had other dreams, other problems and new foreign cities.

Then I went to Riga, to study chemistry (actually quite unexpected development) in University of Latvia. And joined sorority Dzintra. And went to Tartu again. And again. And again - and remembered.

And now I'm here to stay.

At the same time everything feels like returning home - meeting friends, remembering known-but-long-forgotten things- like how almost everything is within walking distance. Finding out about new changes. Celebrating 1st September with friend - drinking vine from my mismatched glasses at night in Toomemagi, in ruins of Cathedral. Discovering peppermint&chocolate ice cream, sharing excitement about Estonian language. And most of all - seeing people who not only breathe university - it's in their bloodstreams, into their atoms and molecules. Becoming one of them, slowly and at the same time rapidly. Like waves in Emajõgi.

P.s. I'm still searching for my name. Since almost nobody understands "ū" - which is important for me, a reminder from Latvia which carry around constantly. For now, for my Estonian friends I'm starting to write it like "Ruuta", but in IDs etc I'm still Ruta :(

P.p.s. To my friend who asked if I'm going to write blog about my time here and I answered "Ha, no, why would I ever do that?" - well, I should have know better, being in Tartu with Laiksne! :D